One night, nine months later, I dreamt that I was bathing a baby. The baby was sitting in a round tub and it said to me, “I’m ready” and started giggling and laughing”. I woke up with a jolt. I looked at the clock. It was 2.20 am. “I’m sure this is a sign”, I thought to myself.   Not long after that, I found out that I had conceived.

Preparation for pregnancy and birth

I got myself mentally, physically and emotionally prepared for childbirth. My pregnancy was smooth without any complications and I felt confident throughout the whole pregnancy. Many months prior to conception, I started eating folic acid, said to reduce neural tube defects in babies. As I was a vegetarian for the past eleven years, I continued on a vegetarian diet together with vitamin supplements throughout my pregnancy. I did prenatal yoga and qigong exercises. I also practiced squatting down for 5 to 10 minutes several times a day as I planned to squat while giving birth. I meditated and communicated with my unborn child frequently. I listened to HypnoBirthing CDs on Relaxation, Birth Rehearsal Imagery and Birthing Affirmations. I reduced watching TV to five hours per week and minimized watching or reading about negative incidents. I took care to manage my emotions and to ensure that I was not stressed during the pregnancy. I did not watch horror movies or violent movies, as I knew that the baby in-utero could feel the mother’s emotions. Instead, I watched videos on natural birthing, conscious birthing and read up on how hypnosis helps the mother during labour and birth. I also read up many books and articles on natural childbirth.

 I had switched to an obgyn who was supportive of natural childbirth and who endorsed my two-page birth plan with 25 requests. Among my requests were for the cord to be clamped only after it had stopped pulsating, no episiotomy, to have dim lights and soft music in the room, to allow labour to take its natural course, to assume labour positions of choice, to use a birthing ball for labour, and for the baby to be put onto my breast immediately after birth and remain with me for the first hour.  I went to three obgyns before I found one who could agree to my birth plans. All other doctors had never heard of such requests and were afraid of lawsuits if something were to go wrong. I also declined routine ultrasound as I read about its dangers. I only had one ultrasound scan throughout my pregnancy. That was done at 9 weeks to detect whether it was a normal or ectopic pregnancy. I did not know the sex of the baby but had a strong feeling that it was going to be a boy.

            As I wanted my baby to be in the correct position, I took extra care to be mindful of my posture at all times. I did not lie in a reclining mode or lean back on the sofa. Instead, from 6 months onwards, I sat on a birth ball, instead of sitting on a chair. It helped me get my baby in the correct position. Sitting on a birth ball also helped to strengthen my pelvic floor muscles. I loved bouncing on the birth ball as I sat at my desk. I also visualized my baby in optimal birth position, with the back of his head facing my spine, in a vertex (head down) position. That was the easiest position for the baby to emerge.

 My baby’s estimated due date, 15^th August came and went. Still the baby was not out. Three days after the EDD, my doctor wanted to do a vaginal examination to check if I was dilated but I declined, as I believed that it did not serve any purpose. I felt that if the body and baby are ready, dilation will happen naturally, and that there was no need to rush things. My doctor told me that one of the options in a postdated pregnancy was an induction, but he was comfortable with allowing me to continue, as he knew my preference for a natural birth. Thus, I declined a medical induction and tried natural induction methods instead. I did a lot of walking, eating hot and spicy food and climbing stairs but the baby decided not to come out yet.  

 Ten days after the EDD, my doctor found that my cervix had still not dilated yet. He suggested that I go for a non-stress test  to assess the baby’s condition. The Electronic Fetal Monitor was strapped onto my belly for 45 minutes to monitor the baby’s heartbeat. The graph came out alright and my doctor was comfortable with letting me go on.

I received many calls and text messages from friends and relatives asking me whether the baby had arrived yet. In the meantime, I communicated with my unborn baby and told him that it was safe to come out into the world as he has two loving parents who will be taking care of him and guiding him on the correct path.

Thirteen days past my estimated due date (EDD), my grandfather passed away. My family members were busy with his funeral preparation. I attended his funeral, which was held  three days later, on 30^th August, 16 days after my EDD. I felt that perhaps the baby had known about this and wanted to wait until it was all over.

The first sign

At 4.00 pm that evening, after the funeral, I noticed some amniotic fluid leakage, albeit very little. At 7.00 pm, I lost my mucus plug. I was happy at this new development and broke the news to my family, who were up in KL for the funeral and also telephoned my husband at work. My mother, being a jittery person, panicked and asked my father to send me to the hospital. On the other hand, I refused as I did not feel any surges or pain. While waiting for hubby to return home, family and I went out for dinner. I was so relaxed that my parents were amazed. I packed dinner for my husband. When he reached home an hour later, he wolfed down his dinner in anticipation to rush me to the hospital. However, I said that we could go later, as I didn’t feel any surges yet.

 At 2.20 am, I awoke as the surges started coming in. I started to time them and they were between three to ten minutes apart. I thought to myself, “We’ll go in the morning, after hubby wakes up. I did not want to disturb his sleep as he was very tired from his hectic work in the office. It was 31^st August, Merdeka day, the Independence Day of Malaysia. I thought “Wow, our baby will be a Merdeka baby”.

 We left for hospital at 7.45 am. I had initially been concerned about the traffic jams during peak hours. Believing in the Law of Attraction, I wanted to attract a smooth trip to the hospital, without traffic jam. Thus, several weeks before my birth, I had focused my mind on having a smooth drive to the hospital. That was exactly what I got! The drive was smooth and fast as it was a public holiday.

At 8.20 am, I checked into the labour room. There was no need to be shaved and no enema administered as it was stipulated in my birth plan and my doctor did not practice such methods too. The moment I sat on the hospital bed, my membrane released. The nurse assessed me and found that I was 2 cm dilated. At 10.30 am, my doctor came and assessed me. My cervix was 3 cm dilated. He said that I was making good progress. At 2.30 pm, I was at 4 cm.

 As my doctor me allowed me to eat and drink in the labour room, I had breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea as usual. My appetite was not affected by being in labour as I was very comfortable and relaxed.  In fact, I had a very good appetite and I felt that the little amount of hospital food was insufficient.

A calm labour

I was calm and relaxed throughout the labour. I played calming relaxation music throughout the labour. I also listened to the HypnoBirthing Birth Affirmations and Rainbow Relaxation with my headphones. It helped me to tune in and focus on the sensations of my body. I practiced mindfulness and mindfully focused on the sensation of the surges as it came in waves. I did ‘slow breathing’ when my surges came up and ‘sleep breathing’ during the interim period. Throughout my labour, I went to the toilet naturally. There was no need to have a catheter inserted.

 I also brought my birth ball into the labour room. One nurse had never seen it before and I explained to her how it helped. It worked with gravity to help baby descend and increased blood flow to the uterus, placenta and baby and increased the pelvic outlet. As I had requested only intermittent monitoring on the electronic fetal monitor, I was free to walk about the room and sit on the birth ball or chair to labour. Most of the time, I laboured in an upright position as it was more comfortable as compared to lying down on my back. My husband also did light touch massage on me to increase the body’s natural endorphins. Endorphins are feel good hormones and are the body’s natural pain killers. In the next room, I heard loud voices shouting “Push! Push!” and a woman screaming her lungs out. I was concerned and wondered, “Does birthing have to be like that?” It sounded very much like a marketplace.

At 9.00 pm, my cervix was 7 cm dilated. The nurse said, “You are the only one left. All other mothers have given birth to Merdeka babies”. I thought to myself, “The baby can take as long as he wants. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t come out today”. I decided to take it easy and not rush things. I believed that a person’s character and destiny in life depended on his/her date of birth. I did not want to interfere with my baby's astrological birth date.

 At 4.30 am the next morning, 1^st September 2006, my doctor came and assessed me and found me still 7 cm dilated, no improvement from the night before. He suggested that I go on pitocin drip to increase the surges. He said that he was concerned because by morning it would be 24 hours since my membrane released, that there was a risk of bacterial infection and he was reluctant to put me on antibiotics. He asked me to think about it. He asked the nurses to put me lying on my side in hopes that the labour would progress faster. However, when I was made to lie on my side, the baby’s heartbeat dropped. I was put on my back again at a 45 degree angle. The nurses then strapped the electronic fetal monitor on me constantly this time to monitor the baby’s heartbeat. Luckily, the baby’s heartbeat returned to normal after around 15 minutes.

It was now 10.00 am and my cervix was still 7 cm dilated. The labour seemed to have stalled for 13 hours already. My doctor was very concerned and recommended either to put me on pitocin drip or go for a caesarean. In the end, I agreed to pitocin for the sake of the baby. Ten minutes later, the nurses started me on pitocin drip. After that, everything seemed to happen so fast. My surges were stronger and coming every 3 minutes. I was mentally following the surges of my body which came and went in waves. Before long, I felt the urge to push. The nurse assessed me and found that I was already at 10 cm. She told the nurses to prepare the room and called the doctor.

 I did ‘birth breathing’ at that point in time and it helped me to stay calm despite the intensity. I did not have any pain medications or epidural.  I only used nitrous oxide (gas) whenever there were surges, to help relief some of the discomfort. However, I found that breathing using the gas mask was quite uncomfortable and later stopped using it. It reminded me of the time when I went scuba diving and had to wear a dive mask and breathe using a regulator.

 The doctor asked the nurses whether they had read my birth plan and proceeded to brief them about it. He told them to whisper when talking and not shout at me to push. He dimmed the lights in the labour room and turned up the volume of my relaxation music. I could sense that there were a number of nurses in the room. I was appreciative that they were speaking in low tones and whispering most of the time.

The birth

I found it difficult to push when I was lying down on my back. “I want to squat,” I said to the doctor. He got the nurse to hold me on one side and my husband on the other side on the bed. “It’s hard to balance. I want to squat on the floor”, I said. I did a supported squat, with my husband supporting me. I was already crowning at that stage. He brought a mirror for my husband to watch the baby crowning. I felt the baby’s head at my perineum. Another few surges and the baby was out in a jiffy. The whole head, body and legs came tumbling out. It was 1.16 pm. The baby was covered in meconium. The nurses started to suction the fluid from his mouth and nose. I looked at the baby and exclaimed, “It’s a boy!” My intuition was correct. After that my doctor asked the nurse to wrap my baby and handed my baby to me to latch onto my breast. After that the placenta was out.

 The doctor said that it was time to cut the cord. “Has it stopped pulsating?” I asked. He said “Yes. It has stopped pulsating”. He pressed it to show me. It seemed rather thick. It was white as the blood had completely drained from it. He asked my husband to cut the cord. It was not so easy to cut the cord as the cord was thick and rubbery. The nurses then quickly extracted the cord blood for routine blood testing.

  As I had chosen not to have episiotomy, I had some first degree tears and was stitched up soon after. A nurse wanted to take the baby to be weighed and tagged. I requested for her to take him later. I had two hours with my baby on my breast for bonding and breastfeeding. He seemed very alert and peaceful. Later, the nurse came back and took the baby to be weighed and tagged. He was bathed much later. My hubby started sms-ing relatives and friends the good news. I was very hungry and started eating voraciously some buns that my hubby brought.  My digestive system was not at all impaired by the labour.

My birth was a miracle. At 17 days late and 35 hours of labour, it was a miracle that I had a natural birth, especially in a developing country like Malaysia. If not for HypnoBirthing, I would not have been so confident, relaxed and comfortable throughout the labour and would probably have succumbed to induction and caesarean. HypnoBirthing helped me manage the pain without chemical painkillers. A lot of my positive birth experience also went to my doctor who went out of his way to adhere closely to my birth plans. Any other obgyn in the country would have administered a caesarean on me. Hats off to HypnoBirthing and my doctor who supports natural birth!

For enquiries on BirthConfidence™ Programs, contact:

Email: selina@life-inspirations.com